It’s (nearly) the most wonderful time of the yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear

Flood warnings aside, I am starting to feel slightly Christmassy now. I’ve got my organised head on and started stocking up (mainly on wine, to be fair) for the festive period, and have planned the Christmas Day menu, games and movie-schedule. Control freak? Me?

And the spare room is now piled high with gifts ready to wrap. I will not put the tree up until December 1^st on principle, but as far as parties and festivities go, I’m all set to go.

I tried to get into the mood last Saturday. I spent the day buying gifts in Solihull before heading to the famous Frankfurt Christmas market in Birmingham in the evening. Should have left it.

 I understand the concept, and I like the idea of it, but sadly, in reality, I find it frustrating and annoying. I dislike having to fight my way through hoards of people to queue for 30 minutes for my hot wine. I get annoyed when I then have most of my hot wine knocked all over me as I fight my way away from the sales stand. I reeeeeeally don’t like being coughed all over and being engulfed in clouds of cigarette smoke, and the icing on the cake is having to fight my way back to the sales stand again to get my £3 deposit back for the plastic cup that the sales team mistakenly think I’m going to fall in love with and steal.

But I do like the caramelised nuts.

Maybe I went too early – as I say, I don’t think Christmas should start until December 1^st when I can open my advent calendar (this year: Star Wars Lego). I love putting the iPod festive playlist on, unravelling the fairy lights and  putting the tree up while singing my head off and drinking hot chocolate. And on Christmas Eve, I love cracking a bottle of bubbly and sitting in front of the fire to argue with Adam about what constitutes a Christmas movie (me: The Holiday, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, A Christmas Carol. Adam: Gremlins, Die Hard, Elf) before watching The Holiday and preparing for our guests’ arrival…

But it’s a good four weeks before I get to that stage and there’s a lot to look forward to first.

Naturally, I’ve started stocking up on Christmassy outfits for various gatherings – one berry-coloured sequinned little number should arrive today – and I’m counting down to the first festive occasion in my calendar, the BPA Christmas lunch, which this year for the first time ever will need to be a dry affair as I have evening commitments (I don’t see it ending well). The highlight though, will be BeerBeauty’s Christmas Party – hosted by the legendary Beer Beauty herself, Marverine Cole, who will be guiding myself and 40 other ladies through a range of tasty ales – not a sparkling wine in sight – and matching them to mini pies and bites. A ladies-only affair, it looks set to be a fantastic night at the Old Joint Stock.

With a festive spa-break with my best friend Donna planned and my annual girls’ Christmas Eve champagne brunch to look forward to, I am so looking forward to cracking open the glitter and high heels and getting into the spirit of things. With heaps of work to do, something’s got to give, and I fear it’ll be the gym regime, but hey, Christmas is a time to be merry is it not? 

Corking addition

Just had the pièce de résistance arrive for the kitchen. Since we only have six chairs, and at last count, had seven guests coming for Christmas dinner, I thought it would be polite to show willing and get at least one extra place. I wanted something a bit quirky that would be a bit of a conversation point, rather than just, you know, a chair.

And here it is – a massive champagne cork; which weighs the equivalent to 1,300 regular champagne corks (heavier than you’d think, let me tell you), and 110 times bigger than an actual champagne cork.

Shame it didn’t come with the rest of the bottle.

Kitchen Nightmares

So, it’s been some months since I could bear to commit thoughts to paper/pad/screen and discuss the arduous progress of what has fast become known in my circle as The Bastard Kitchen.

However, I’m delighted to report that seven months later, it is complete. Things changed a bit. We sacked off the shabby chic eau de nil/vintage ivory up-cycled theme I first dallied with I’m favour of (three guesses…) purple!

As it goes, before you ask, I didn’t paint the whole thing and fill it with violently violet accessories like some Prince fantasy, we went for smart white lines and modern white accessories with a sumptuous purple backdrop, teamed with my must-have wine glass light and our canvases of choice.

Considering we both wanted very different things, I think that the fact that the kettle looks like a stormtrooper and when illuminated, the cupboards look like there’s an alien landing, while Audrey Hepburn presides on high means that we’ve managed a compromise extremely well and somehow both feel like we got our own way.

On the whole, I’d have to say that the endless expense and time was worth it… Just. I know I’m biased, but I LOVE it. What do you think?

Dress you up – shopping fit for a pop icon

I’ve had a good few weeks off from buying clothes and accessories as a result of mainly spending my money on kitchen items. This is apart from my beautiful sale-purchase LK Bennett wedges which I fell off within 30 minutes of wearing and removed several chunks from the wooden wedges as well as my flesh, I’m not including those as I am too upset about them.

However, my birthday is approaching and since I refuse to ask for a kettle or a cooker, I’ve been seeking inspiration, which I found last week having discovered Madonna’s new shoe range, Truth or Dare, at Selfridges.

I went to see Madonna for the first time back in 1987 at the Who’s That Girl tour, and having watched her reinvent herself over and over again over the 25 years that have passed since, it was fantastic to get the chance to see her perform the MDNA tour at Hyde Park yesterday. And, spectacular show notwithstanding, I have to say: HOW DOES SHE DO IT?!

It’s no secret that the woman has dedication and a punishing fitness regime that would make an Olympian beg for mercy, but she looks absolutely amazing, and can still put on a hell of a show. I always loved the JPG corset Blonde Ambition days so I was thrilled when, as one of her costume changes, she donned a frame-style corset reminiscent of those days.

Having removed that and the crisp white shirt beneath, she was laced into another corset by one of her dancer that showed just how tiny that toned waist is. Let’s just say my gym resolve has been heightened – I have a long way to go before I could ever look this good.

Since it could take a good decade for me to get to that steage, I figure it’s wise to Iwork from the feet up, starting by circulating these pictures of the Michonski ankle boots, the Twidwell boots and the Corinie cut out courts to my nearest and dearest in the hope that someone takes the hint. You never know.

 

 

Getting nowhere fast

It’s been a week, but nothing has happened in Operation Kitchen Refurb, other than I’ve covered all the walls in varying shades of purple splodges of paint. This morning, Adam left the house with the words ‘Maybe we should stick to the duck-egg blue’ and left a picture of a white and duck-egg kitchen beside the bed.

The boiler’s being fitted tomorrow, the electrics being sorted this weekend and we even have a date for the plastering, so it’s looking feasible that we can be done by the end of July… IF we can just agree on a damn colour.

Purple Reign

Hurrah! I’m getting excited now, turns out the best way to get me on board with the outrageous and unplanned expense of a kitchen refit was to allow me to paint part of it purple.

Now that the boy’s agreed*, I am far more inclined to show support and measure walls for cupboards and choose oven hoods.

I’ve now unleashed my inner interior designer and am planning the finished look, which is what I need to do to keep me going through the next few weeks of rewiring, plastering, floor fitting, banging and swearing.

Thanks to the support of my fellow purple passionistas Eve and Liz I’ve now identified tons of purple accessories and appliances, but none of them have excited me as much as this aubergine DeLonghi coffee machine. I may only have one latte a day, but what a stylish way to have it.

Of course, I’ll have to have the kettle and toaster to match.

I’ve also been forced to accept that the Catherine Colebrook picture I’d planned on having simply won’t go with the new colourway, so I’ve set my decided on striking black and white pop-art for impact. Personally, I have set my heart on this shot of Audrey, but as this will be about my fifth attempt to bring her into a room in the house, I have to tread carefully.

But I have a plan – while I see Audrey presiding over the kitchen from the main dining wall, I think I can convince Adam to go for it with the diversionary tactic of suggesting that this guy gets to take centre stage on another.

Not just a hat stand. Oh no.

*in principle, it could all be off by Sunday

Bright idea

Much to my surprise, my proposal to scrap the caramel kitchen colour scheme in favour of a more regal deep purple was not met with utter horror last night. In fact, we’re actually going to pick out a few tester shades to get an idea of the finished effect.

It’s made me wonder if I can push things a bit further. I’m all for the recessed ceiling spotlights we’ve agreed on, but wouldn’t THIS be amazing over the dining table?

I realise there’s the risk that dinner guests will smash their heads in, but really, isn’t that their look out?

The Colour Purple

I’ve had a bit of a change of heart on the kitchen front. I am taking a new ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’ approach to the whole project and instead of grumbling about the spectacular failure to stick to my initial plan, I am going to suggest a few changes to my original decor idea.

Essentially, I shall be putting forward the – I think – perfectly reasonable suggestion that instead of carrying through a lighter version of the colour scheme from our sitting room, and opting for duck eggs and caramels to match the new white cabinets, we rip off the offending wood panelling that I’ve already painted (as per Adam’s original desire, clever eh?) and opt for smooth plastered walls, but choose a more striking colour combination.

I am thinking, naturally, of purple. I see no reason why it needs to be confined to my wardrobe, and while I’m not going to hedge my bets and ask if we can get glossy aubergine cabinets (but I would like that, I would), I think a statement aubergine wall will have a fantastic effect with the white units.

It also means I can buy all manner of striking statement accessories as a souvenir of this traumatic time, such as THIS one:

Say no more.

Memo to self: say nothing in future

As I predicted, the whole ‘let me up-cycle the kitchen as a fun weekend project’ idea has been well and truly hijacked and has now escalated to such a point that I am considering just moving out and living on my own free from brick dust and interference.

Despite my having painted the cabinets and the wood panels, replaced all the handles and having bought paint and paper for the walls, my painstakingly painted cupboards have now been removed from the walls (along with the tiles, with not a thought that we hadn’t even started looking for replacements) and – joy – a wall has been demolished so that the alcove is no more. This is to make room for the enormous American style fridge freezer that we’re now having instead of recessed painted shelving to store and showcase all of my cocktail glasses and Rosanna Bowles J’adore les shoes crockery as previously discussed.

From this:                                                                                To this: 

Beautiful crockery that deserves to be seen…

Massive metal box.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because as we all know, nothing fits in with a vintage style kitchen like a massive metal ice maker, does it?

 

 

Gone potty

It’s taken three months to find the time to post about my long-awaited trip to Florida to visit the  Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Mainly because whenever I try to write about it, I am consumed with misery that I’m not racing around in the Florida sunshine any longer.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that for someone in their 30s, my passion for Potter is borderline peculiar, but luckily for me, Adam’s just as much of a geek and was every bit as keen to head Stateside to see what they’d made of the phenomenon.

Naturally, my expectations were too high, but as I was reminded, there’s only a certain amount of space available to create this magical world, and the team at Islands of Adventure, where WWOHP is located, have really thrown themselves into the project to create a jaw-dropping experience.

As we’d booked with Virgin Holidays, we were awarded early entrance to the WWOHP on our first day, and as such, we were the first car parked in the epic multi-storey network that plays host to the Universal and IOA parks’ guests every day. At 8am, we joined the other privileged guests to race through Islands of Adventure to get access to the corner of the park dedicated to Potter and pals. On strolling through the arch, beneath the Hogsmeade sign, we entered a whole new world.

With Hedwig’s Theme playing in the background as the glistening snow-capped crooked shop-lined street beckoned, we were greeted by the sight of the gleaming scarlet Hogwarts Express, before wandering past Zonko’s, packed with quirky treats and japes, Honeydukes, home to hundreds of sweet and unusual confections, the Three Broomsticks and the Hog’s Head before finally arriving in the shadow of Hogwarts castle itself to ride the signature Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride – one of the most popular in all of the state’s theme parks.

Entering Hogsmeade

The Hogwarts Express

Cauldron shopping…

Hogsmeade

I’m not going to spoil the ride, it’s surely best to experience something like this with no idea what to expect. But what did impress me is the effort that the creators have gone to to make the waiting time less of a chore. Queues for the ride can reach two hours in peak season, but that’s possibly the only way you’d get to experience all of the wonderful surprises… mandrakes in the greenhouses, a greeting from Dumbledore, an argument between the talking portraits and a pre-ride warning from the Sorting Hat. We rode the Forbidden Journey around six times during our holiday and every time we seemed to spot something new.

The other rides at the attraction are the Dragon Challenge – spiralling and looping Hungarian Horntail and the Chinese Fireball dragon coasters, and the Flight of the Hippogriff, for younger riders. But fantastic as the rides are, it’s Hogsmeade itself that proves such a draw for visitors…

Honeydukes is a colourful, swirling shop packed with Fizzing Whizzbees, Chocolate Frogs and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans (Adam has since eaten an entire packet and confirms that alongside the cherry, cinnamon and apple you will unfortunately stumble across earwax, dirt, pepper and, I kid you not, vomit), all in perfect packaging. The queues are long but browsing is an endless joy. Zonko’s sees visitors stocking up on extendable ears and pygmy puffs while at Dervish and Bangs and Filch’s Emporium you’ll find entire school uniforms, house robes and scarves, as well as a range of T shirts and tri-wizard championship shirts.

The longest queue by far is for Ollivander’s wand-shop, a tiny little store which only holds around 20 people at a time, all of whom watch as Ollivander invites a would-be witch or wizard forward to allow their wand to choose them – crashes, bang, music and lights make the experience really enjoyable and I met one little girl who queued four times before she was finally called forward to find her wand. To be clear – I was a bit narked in my geek way, because as we all know, Ollivander’s isn’t in Hogsmeade, it’s in Diagon Alley.

Every Flavour Beans

Talk of sweet treats brings us, of course, to Butterbeer; the drink of choice for young wizards. WWOHP does a roaring trade in Butterbeer, both in the Three Broomsticks and the Hog’s Head, as well as on olde worlde style carts in the street. The flavour is as sickly sweet as you can imagine – think Cream Soda that coats your teeth, with a whipped topping, but everywhere you turn, someone’s sipping a flagon of it. Possibly because JK Rowling put the kibosh on the ‘land’ selling Coke, Pepsi or other fizzy drinks. That said, there is also a frozen variety, which tastes like melted vanilla ice-cream and is infinitely preferable, apart from the brain-freeze.

The food served in the pub isn’t too bad at all – massive sharing platters or English style meals of pasties, salad and chips and fish and chips, all served at wooden tables in the cool, darkened interior as a welcome escape from the sun.

The Three Broomsticks

The Hog’s Head

Butterbeer

While I could easily have advised on acres and acres of attractions based on the series of novels, I managed to keep my expectations in check and marvelled at some of the attention to detail. Amongst the other details at the theme park are the performances by the Hogwarts choir – accompanied by their over-sized animatronic frogs – the graceful ladies of Beaxbatons Academy and the young men at Durmstrang. With various photo opportunities with them, as well as chances to have your picture taken with Sirius Black’s ‘Wanted’ poster and the Hogwarts Express conductor, it’s a veritable holiday album in itself.

The piece de resistance for me though was finding out, when I went to the bathroom, that the creativity team haven’t missed a trick and that Moaning Myrtle’s gurgling babble keeps you company throughout – something I’d hoped they’d think of. I was saddened that they hadn’t incorporated more of the series, and it seems mad not to have lookalikes not strolling the street for photo opps – elsewhere in IOA you can have your snap taken with the Green Goblin or Spiderman after all, but I guess the main masked characters are Death Eaters, so it might be a little too much for younger visitors.

I wonder how many years it’ll be before the conventions start here as the Star Wars ones have at Disney, and fans descend every year for the chance to have their snaps taken with cast members and everyone from Fang and Buckbeak to Crabbe and Goyle – if only that actor hadn’t taken it upon himself to start smoking pot and get involved in the riots; he might just have been made for life…

I’ve also seen that plans are afoot to expand the world, but this time, in the neighbouring Universal Studios park – with concept drawings showing a plan to replace jaws with Gringotts Bank and other attractions. Perhaps Diagon Alley will be based in US and Hogsmeade will remain in IOA.

That’s sure to take several more years, so there may be more theme park holidays in the offing. Either way, my tickets are booked for next February, with the whole family in tow this time. I just hope they can keep up.

The Sorting hat sees you off…