Kitchen Nightmares

So, it’s been some months since I could bear to commit thoughts to paper/pad/screen and discuss the arduous progress of what has fast become known in my circle as The Bastard Kitchen.

However, I’m delighted to report that seven months later, it is complete. Things changed a bit. We sacked off the shabby chic eau de nil/vintage ivory up-cycled theme I first dallied with I’m favour of (three guesses…) purple!

As it goes, before you ask, I didn’t paint the whole thing and fill it with violently violet accessories like some Prince fantasy, we went for smart white lines and modern white accessories with a sumptuous purple backdrop, teamed with my must-have wine glass light and our canvases of choice.

Considering we both wanted very different things, I think that the fact that the kettle looks like a stormtrooper and when illuminated, the cupboards look like there’s an alien landing, while Audrey Hepburn presides on high means that we’ve managed a compromise extremely well and somehow both feel like we got our own way.

On the whole, I’d have to say that the endless expense and time was worth it… Just. I know I’m biased, but I LOVE it. What do you think?

Purple Reign

Hurrah! I’m getting excited now, turns out the best way to get me on board with the outrageous and unplanned expense of a kitchen refit was to allow me to paint part of it purple.

Now that the boy’s agreed*, I am far more inclined to show support and measure walls for cupboards and choose oven hoods.

I’ve now unleashed my inner interior designer and am planning the finished look, which is what I need to do to keep me going through the next few weeks of rewiring, plastering, floor fitting, banging and swearing.

Thanks to the support of my fellow purple passionistas Eve and Liz I’ve now identified tons of purple accessories and appliances, but none of them have excited me as much as this aubergine DeLonghi coffee machine. I may only have one latte a day, but what a stylish way to have it.

Of course, I’ll have to have the kettle and toaster to match.

I’ve also been forced to accept that the Catherine Colebrook picture I’d planned on having simply won’t go with the new colourway, so I’ve set my decided on striking black and white pop-art for impact. Personally, I have set my heart on this shot of Audrey, but as this will be about my fifth attempt to bring her into a room in the house, I have to tread carefully.

But I have a plan – while I see Audrey presiding over the kitchen from the main dining wall, I think I can convince Adam to go for it with the diversionary tactic of suggesting that this guy gets to take centre stage on another.

Not just a hat stand. Oh no.

*in principle, it could all be off by Sunday